


If you say run, I'll run with you

by adevilkissedme



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DC Animated Universe, DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Powers, F/M, House Party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-02-26 12:50:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13236102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adevilkissedme/pseuds/adevilkissedme
Summary: Barbara Gordon came to a party... And she can't drink, in a place where everybody is drunk and she has lost her friends. Just when she thinks she is the only sober person around, she finds Dick, the only other only person around. After a minor accident, they start a conversation... and maybe something more.AKA a most likely cheesy but hopefully funny college AUCONTAINS: references to alcohol and sex (nothing explicit), and minor cursing





	1. Don't You Want Me

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this because I was bored but I am still getting to know these characters, so I am sorry in advance for any possible too-out-of-character stuff I might have included here. I think I modified everyone’s ages a bit so this would make more sense. The story is set in a college AU where none of them is a vigilante… That we know. I wanted to imagine both of them in a common, very slice of life situation, so there’s nothing new plot-wise here. In fact, I just mashed some prompts together and made them tangle in a single romcom story. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!  
>  Of course, none of the characters belong to me and this is completely fictional.  
>  The feedback is more than welcome, especially since English is not my first language and I am still learning it

**I. Barbara**

_What am I even doing here?_ I ask myself, as I try to make sense out of it. I am smarter than this, than letting my friends drag me into a party in who-knows-whose house. More than that, I should be smarter than coming here while on antibiotics. _Come on, Babs, this is not so bad_. _Let’s analyze the situation, okay?_ _You are sitting alone in this grey sofa that was once probably blue but it’s preferable not to think about how it became grey. You are drinking some kind of watered down soda, probably 7up. In front of you,_ _people are jumping and making a mess out of everything. You lost track of Helena long, long ago, when she winked at you while dragging some pizza delivery guy into the house by pulling him by the neck of his shirt_. Poor guy. _Dinah is somewhere, singing, but you can’t quite find where her voice is coming from._ She is drunk, obviously, she only sings when a) she is in karaoke or b)  she is drunk. _Ok, so your friends are lost. Let’s look at the rest of the individuals here, will you?_ Right, I can see some bros from the fraternities, big clumsy dudes laughing too loud for their own good and generally doing disgusting things. There is not a single sober one. Girls are all over the place, dancing or running in a maybe flirtatious way from the bros. Some girls are tightly dancing with each other, as if this hideous electronic music was the slowest ballad. They are either high on love or high on… other things. A bunch of couples, of all colors and genders are wildly and carelessly making out. Actually, there is a girl making out with a boy in a way that makes you feel like you are watching a porn movie.

Dammit. They are exactly in front of me, hardly 40cm away from where I am sitting. She is incredibly tall, and has a scandalously sensual body. Her long hair reminds me of fire and I am mesmerized by it for a second. Just a second because the guy she is kissing is getting dangerously close to me. His eyes are closed and he seems about to sit in the very same sofa I am sitting, to be precise, exactly in the place I am sitting in. I can’t really move. I am trapped between one of those huge bros that passed out there and something sticky that is covering about half of the sofa and that I am not willing to find out what is. Basically, I am trapped. And sober. _Why did I come here?_ Suddenly, the music stops and someone is using a megaphone.

“A moment of attention, gentlepeople,” both the boy and girl in front of me stare at the place the voice is coming from. That’s my chance. I stand up and leave the sofa. I have to hit the girl, for which she looks very bothered, and I apologize. Now I can see who is talking is no other than Zatanna, the girl that invited us to this mess. “Beer is over, so who is willing to go for more?” everybody protests, and she makes them all shut up. “Now that I got your attention, everybody come into the house or they’ll call the cops.” More protests, but way less enthusiastic ones.

I see Dinah rolling her eyes and jumping beside Zee to take over the megaphone and scream. “YOU FUCKERS IN THE GARDEN, COME INSIDE RIGHT NOW.” She can be so effective when she does that. In a matter of a seconds, the house is filled with people, from the kitchen to the second floor, all of them drinking, dancing and shouting too close to each other to be a comfortable situation. The music continues and it is as if nothing has happened.

It is so hot in here… _So hot_. I can’t stand it. I manage to reach the door and go to the garden, swimming through the mass of alcoholized bodies.

Should I leave the party? I really want to, but I shouldn’t leave without telling the girls. They brought me here with good intentions. Dinah said I needed to go out a little more because I have been so stressed about my exams lately. She said that one night off couldn’t damage my studies and hard work. She is right, I guess. Even Helena agreed. She said studies will kill me if I don’t take a break from time to time. And I guess she is right it’s just that… Ah, I don’t know. I thought we would go out and dance and laugh like we always do. But turns out Dinah knew about every person in the party so she soon disappeared into the crowd and Helena got distracted with who knows what -she is a mysterious being, we’ve been friends for years now but I still don’t know what’s going on in her mind. If I were drunk, at least I wouldn’t care as much. At least I think I wouldn’t. But I had an infection last week and I still have three more days of antibiotics to go -though I have no infection anymore- which means I can’t drink.

My name is Barbara Gordon and I just- I just kind of hate my life right now.

 

**II. Dick**

If I spend one more second inside this house, I think I will drown. Is it possible to drown in a room with no water? I don’t know, but I totally feel like I’m choking inside here. My name is Dick Grayson, and I am in an awful place. Why am I in a place so awful, you might wonder? Because I am too good to my friends. Truth be told, I am too much of a nice guy. Stupid me. But then what can I do? When Wally came to me with those bright green eyes, smiling like a baby asking me to come with him to the “party of the century” and help him find the girl he liked -the girl he has been seeing everyday in the cafeteria sitting exactly in the same place, reading, for three months now who he casually heard telling another friend she would come here- I couldn’t say no. He was like asking me to build a snowman and… Damn, I can’t say no when he does that.

I am pretty sure Wally found his cafeteria girl, because I haven’t seen him in about two hours. I know some people here, but all of my friends seem to be too busy in other business.

“Oh, no.” As if it wasn’t bad enough I have just sat in a suspiciously sticky sofa. I think I’m about to throw up when I try to clean that thing off of my pants using a random piece of cloth. A guy passed out in the sofa and I a couple is being way too intimate right beside me. Shit I really- _Wait, it’s not just any couple, right?_ That caramel skin and fire hair- Ugh, now I surely want to throw up, I didn’t need to see this. The drunk chicks -and guys- that have tried to convince me into dancing or whatever, the awful electronic music, somehow being Wally’s third wheel… The mild assault and disrespect coming from the crowd overall. And now this disgusting thing on my pants and this show right beside me? Fuck it, I am leaving. I don’t drink anyway, why being in a room full of alcohol and drunk people?

 _Don’t be a dick_ , I tell myself -no pun intended- _Wally needs you to drive him home, you agreed on it_. I sigh and discretely approach the garden door. Soon, I feel the fresh air on my skin, the quiet scent of the night and I feel now a little better. I accidentally kick something on the ground while stepping out and I hear a scream coming from a body sitting right there. I jump, scared. The redhead, who is looking for the source of the hit then sees me and screams. I scream too. _Who is she, what is she doing here? She appeared out on nowhere!_ We scream together. She jumps and steps back, then she seems to realize I am a person and not some kind of ghost and I stop screaming just because I don’t know why I was screaming before. She places her hand on her chest.

“You scared me.” Her voice sounds surprisingly calmed, though.

“You scared me too.”

“Zee said everybody had to come inside.” She stares at me, judging hardly. Is she drunk?

“I am not partying.” She raises her chin a little, with a hint of arrogance, but then soon her body relaxes. _That’s two contradictory signs of body language, baby_ I think.

“Me neither.” She sits where she was before, in the stone stairs that lead to the garden. “Welcome to the anti-party.” She places her hand right beside her, inviting me to sit. Now it’s my time to look reserved for five seconds and then show a friendly body language. “I’m Barbara.”

“Cute name. I’m Dick.” I offer my hand for a shake as I sit down. She shakes my hand, trying to hide a side smile.

“No offense, but if you said that’s you name just to hear me saying it, you should know I’ve been played that trick too many times.” At least she is honest, so I laugh. Most people try not laughing at my name and that’s all.

“It’s Richard, but my dad was old fashioned and they’ve been calling me that all my life.” I shrug and she smiles openly. She has a very pretty smile, and a very pretty face. Green or maybe grey eyes, a small nose and thin lips curving in a cute smile. Surprisingly, there are barely freckles covering her white skin. Her hair is dark red, abundant and slightly curly. She is kind of tall, maybe around 1.70m. She is wearing a lace black full-body suit with a crop top under it and high waisted shorts together with striking bright yellow Converse shoes. Through her outfit, I can see she is somewhat muscular. Maybe she is an athlete or does some martial art.

“You ok? You look a little pale.” I laugh.

“Well I- I was getting sick inside.”

“I have some water here.” She offers me a transparent drink, and though she seems nice, I would never drink that. “It’s supposed to be soda bu-“

“It’s ok, thanks.” I smile at her. “It was because, you know, all those sweating bodies, and there was something sticky-“

“You sat in the sofa?” she looks surprised and disgusted, which results in a funny face.

“Sadly, I did.” She gasps, in horror. “I am dying to wash my hands but who knows where the toilet is.”

“First floor, but it’s impossible to access right now,” she informs. “No wonder why you are pissed.”

“I am not pissed.” Why would she say such thing?

“Well, you stepped outside with a pretty ‘ _I am pissed_ ’ attitude.” I laugh and put my head down. Poor Barbara. I hit her just because I wanted to rush outside. That was bad.

“I’m sorry for that, really.”

“Don’t worry. Anyway, I know how you feel. I almost sat down there too. I was trapped in the place. I couldn’t find my friends, who low-key forced me to come here, everybody was so drunk and then this couple almost started like having sex using me as a chair… Long story short, I left the sofa and came here running.”

“Yeah, me too. I came to help out a friend and… Well. I was so tired and I was starting to be pissed because, you know, so many drunk people and then I sit on that thing and on top of all I find one of my best friends making out with my ex right beside me.”

“Really? Oh my gosh!” her eyes are wide open and she covers her mouth with her hand. “I thought there was like a friend code against that or something?” Barbara shakes her head, laughing softly. I nod, the image of Kory and Roy coming through my mind. _Just get a room already._

“Maybe? I don’t know. I mean, I’m happy they found each other but it was awkward, there was no need for me to see that.” Barbara nods and raises both eyebrows, then she can’t help but yawn. “You tired? I think I saw some deck chairs over there…”

“Nah, I’ll survive.” She smiles at me, then she stands up to stretch her arms and legs, like she has been too much time in the same position. “There’s this guy in my dorm and his room is next to mine so because I sleep right next to the wall, I hear him making noise at night until late. At first I thought he was bringing people in the room and well, having sex, but then I realized he is working out? Who the hell works out every night alone in his room from 11 to 1 am?” I laugh out loud. She is funny, especially now that she is gesticulating a lot, with face and hands to tell me about her annoying neighbor. I try focusing my eyes, on her face, all the time while she tells her story because I don’t want to be disrespectful, but to be honest, she is kinda hot and I’d like seeing her body in a more detailed way _. Oh, that sounded a little dirty, I don’t mean I want to… You know…_ Dick, you fool you are just talking to yourself, you don’t need excuses.

“Living with other people can be so shitty. In my dorm, there is a person that always puts my cereal in a different place. Always. It’s annoying.” I say, after she finishes her story. Her cheeks even went a little red and her voice became slightly higher as she told me those things. She is truly pissed about that, I can tell.

“I know, right?” She rolls her eyes. Then she fixes her shoes and smiles at me. “Would you like a walk? My butt is hurting from sitting there and you seem like a cool guy to have a walk with.” I smile, taking the compliment. Then I stand up.

“Sure. I’ll follow you.”

“I don’t know this neighborhood. I hope we don’t get lost.” I laugh.

“We won’t, Barbara, don’t worry about that. We always have Google, don’t we?”

“We do. And call me Babs.”

 

**III. Barbara**

I was going punch the asshole that bothered me while I was outside the house, resting from the party. But turns out this guy, Dick, isn’t bothering. Not only that, he seems like a nice guy and he has checked a couple times if I was ok after apologizing for hitting me. No matter how much he apologizes, I might get a bruise in my arm tomorrow. But it’s not the end of the world. We have been walking around and talking for at least half an hour now. I am leading the way and, to be honest, I don’t know where we’re going.

Maybe I shouldn’t be out alone at night with a stranger going through streets, I don’t know. My dad would kill me. But I can defend myself. Those ten years of taekwondo and fifteen years of judo need to pay off.

Back to the guy, I’ll admit he is nice and funny. And not going to lie, he is gorgeous. He has that rare combination of definitely-above-average beauty and crushing sex-appeal, like some perfect Hollywood star, all bright blue eyes, perfect skin and nicely defined muscles. He has the body of a gymnast, or maybe a dancer, and he walks with the grace of one. He has a cute smile, too. And as if it wasn’t enough, he has amazing shampoo-advert-worthy black hair and really, _really_ nice hands.

“I’m twenty-one. I’m finishing a major in computer science this semester.” I say, my hands in my pockets, as we pass by a closed bank. The lights in the street are more than enough to see everything around us. I see a stray cat running away.

“That’s so cool! Though isn’t it a little fast for graduating? You took summer school?” he raises an eyebrow and looks at me with the corner of his eyes.

“I finished high-school a year earlier than usual. I’m a gifted child, you could say.” He is about to compliment me or something similar, I know it. That’s what they all do in these circumstances. But I don’t want to hear it. I don’t like being known as the high IQ girl, truly. I just smile at him and ask. “What about you?”

“I’m studying law.” I don’t know why, but saying that, he sounds like a lawyer.

“Law? You like it hard, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I truly do. It ain’t that hard, though.” He is quite serious, I wonder why.

“If you say so… and you are twenty-two, right?” He nods. “That’s a good age.” He laughs. What was so funny about what I said?

“You say it like you were so much older.” _Oh, it was that you sounded like an old lady._ I smile shyly, look down and hope my cheeks are not turning red.

“I don’t know, that’s what my father says.” He laughs again, shaking his head.  I shrug, and then I shiver when the cool night air touches my skin. Wind is raising for some reason.

“Are you cold?”

“Slightly.”

“Maybe we should go back, then?” He doesn’t sound convinced. That’s because he obviously doesn’t want to come back. I understand why. I don’t want to come back either.

“No. I didn’t bring a coat anyway. Aren’t you cold?” I look at him. He is wearing a short-sleeved blue shirt and black jeans. It is very simple, but it suits him.

“Not with these jeans.” He gives me a side smile. Such a pretty smile… I stop staring at him and keep walking. _It’s disrespectful to stare too much, Babs_.

“Ah, yes. When I was at home shorts looked like a great idea.” It did, but now I am regretting it so much.

“They are a great idea if you are dancing, though.”

“I guess. But I am not dancing.” To be honest… I don’t dance. That’s something Dinah will always try -making me dance- but always gets the same response.

“Maybe we can sit there?” In the middle of the street, a small portal with vending machines stands, alone in the yellow light of the street lights. We get in. Dick stares at the products and decides he wants a pack of chocolate cookies. Good taste. “Do you want anything?”

“Not really,” I’m lying. TO be honest, I am really thirsty. “Well, actually a bottle of water.”

“Ok.” I sit on the floor. The wind direction allows the place to feel protected, for a moment. It’s not cold here. Dick offers me the bottle of water and sits next to me eating his cookies.

“How much was it?” I am carrying maybe twenty dollars, I must have one bill over here…

“Ah, don’t worry, it was nothing.”

“Sure?”

“Yes. Cookie?”

“Just a bite.” He offers me a cookie and then smiles at me and eats his quietly. The silence doesn’t feel awkward. I wonder what Dinah and Helena are doing right now. I check my phone to see if I have any message. Suddenly, wind rises and the portal gets cold. I press my legs tightly against my chest and rub them to keep the heat. Dick stands up and tells me turn around, which I do. He sits behind me, and in this corner I moved to, the wind becomes less bad.

“Better now?”

“Yes, thank you.” I have no messages. I open my conversation with Dinah and ask her if she is doing ok. I am expecting no answer, but do it anyway for some reason.

“Not to meddle, but if you are trying to contact you friends at the party, they are lost souls until the morning.” He is right, but I shrug.

“Had to try.” I get goosebumps and shiver. Dick quietly puts his hands around my arms, in a way that doesn’t feel awkward or invasive and rubs them the same way I am doing with my legs. I stare at him.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.” His face is very close to mine. Too close. _Come on, Barbara, you don’t have time to play these games_. This starts to look _slightly_ similar to a date and you don’t have time for that. I know I’ve just met Dick. More than an hour now since I did. How did time pass so fast? Being honest to myself, he looks too perfect. What the hell, he probably _is_ too perfect. My heart is beating fast and loud, so much I’m afraid he might hear it. _Babs, snap out of it_. This is just some hormonal bullshit. It has been too long since you played romance, that’s why. _Come on, stand up, laugh and get away from him and go back to the party._ But this doesn’t feel bad or out of place or- _shut up! Back to the party, Babs, you hear me? Back.to.the.party_. _Before those eyes make you softer than soft_. Then I see it, he is shivering too.

“I guess I am not the only cold one.” He tries to laugh it off and deny it, partly because it’s classical male pride not to admit weakness and partly because he seems like an old fashioned gentleman that likes giving ladies a helping hand. Both of those are bullshit, so I just stare at him and feel his hands stop rubbing my arms, under my heavy _I don’t believe you at all_ gaze.

“Truth is I am freezing.” I smile, as if I have gained some personal victory over him and then I stand up.

“Let’s go back.”

“I didn’t bring a jacket neither.” He doesn’t want to go back, I know. And I am not dying to go back neither. But we are freezing. I don’t want to get sick, honestly.

“But near the house it is less cold.” I blink, thinking if I manage an eye-candy image, he won’t say no, though the argument by itself should be enough if he is actually intelligent at all -which he seems to be.

“We would have to get inside and it was a nightmare. Besides, by now someone has surely puked on the floor and-” ok, that’s a nice argument to. I can’t really do anything against that logic except-

“And if we borrow a couple coats no one will mind. Let’s go.” I start walking outside, to the house, and basically give him no option to resist.

He rolls his eyes and then follows me back to the house. For a moment, he walks faster, so I follow behind. He has a nice butt. _Babara Gordon!_ Shut up, even if you are my conscience, you can’t deny the facts. While I am distracted, Dick says:

“How fast are you, Babs?” Dick says, as he starts running. I can play that, for sure. And it will be good to keep our heat. And I will win.

 

**IV. Dick**

By the time we reach the house’s door, we are breathless. She won and she was so happy. Now her hair is a mess. She is sweating, but she smiles, satisfied. The walk took us around thirty or forty minutes for going, but then we did it running in little more than ten minutes for coming back.

“You work out, huh?” I tell her.

“I’m in good shape. What about you?”

“Running is not my strongest point, to be honest. I think I’m going to die.” She laughs, breathlessly and drinks water from the bottle we got earlier. She offers me the rest, which I drink gladly.

“Well, I guess we are not dancing now.” She leans against one of the walls in the house and her eyes wander over me while speaking. She must be thinking about how terrible my hair looks now. She bites her lower lip and puts her head back.

“Dancing was in your plans? You can dance?” She takes the empty bottle from my hands and I lean against the door beside her. She turns her head to me, her hands playing with the bottle.  We are very close. With the lighting and the short distance between our faces I think I can now confirm her eyes are grey, with traces of green.

“Can you?” Barbara’s voice sounds daring. I hear the sound of music coming from the house. I have the feeling an avid fan of the 80’s is now playing the music. Why do I feel like it is Donna? She told me she was coming, and I think I saw her earlier.

“Surely.” I lick my lips; I can taste the sweat on my upper lip. I am hot right now, but I’ll need a jacket soon. Barbara seems perfectly fine. _Oh no_. In the house, _Don’t you want me_ starts playing. Donna put that song in repeat for days three summers ago. I know every bit of it. To my disgrace, I feel my feet are about to move to the rhythm of the song. Since I am already basically dancing, I look up to Barbara, raising an eyebrow. “Wanna try?” She swallows, then cautiously nods. I find it easy to follow the rhythm and look her directly into the eyes as I start moving, smiling and humming. She is waiting to join. _I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, that much is true…_ Dammit, Donna. She is muttering. She knows the song, she starts moving along but then she looks down, her cheeks red.

“Truth is I can’t dance.” I couldn’t have told, to be honest. She looked like a good dancer, for some reason. I smile at her, try to give her the courage that slowly faded away when she tried dancing the first time.

“You can, you just don’t know how.” I correct her. “Come on, it’s easy.” I get a little closer and hold her hands and we start swinging to the beat of the song. “Not like this is ballet, you only have to let it go.” After a while, she smiles, seemingly enjoying it and when she finds the rhythm, she keeps humming the song.

“I bet you did ballet, though.” She says, as she lets her body move freely.

“No, but my gym trainer taught me how to dance. In order to put on a good show, you know.”

“Yeah. I’m sure you know how to put a show.”

“I’m sure you do to when you are kicking someone’s ass in the tatami.” She laughs little. She let the bottle fall to the ground, and now she is letting her hair run free, untying her ponytail. She looks stunning. Like goddess level of stunning. She shakes her head, smiling.

“No, it should be more serious when doing that.” I grin. Ang maybe I get a step closer.

“Really? That’s terrible. Everything should have a little fun in it.” I try to make my voice sound suggestive. I really try, but I don’t know why. I just thought it needed to be done.

“You think so?” Now I regret _that_ tone. At least a little. My heart is now beating at almost normal speed but I feel it loud, in my ears and I’m sure if Barbara leans closer she could hear it. _How embarrassing would that be_. I suddenly feel a little like a kid that knows nothing.

“I do.” We have gotten closer as we danced. I feel a little nervous, a little excited, and a little relaxed and at peace, all mixed together. The song is about to finish, and I don’t want to let this moment go, even if my hands are sweating and I’m feeling something growing in my chest. Something for Barbara. She looks at me but it’s like her mind is deeper into something else. She lypsincs the last lines.

“ _Don’t you want me baby..._ ”

“I do.” I admit, more to myself than to her. But she surely heard me. She is staring at my lips, I feel her body so close to mine I can feel her breathing in and out. I hesitate. Maybe she doesn’t want to kiss me. Maybe… Ah, I don’t know what is going through her mind, I can’t read her. I feel I’m going crazy for a second, desire growing from my fingertips, running through my blood to my heart. The adrenaline, the wanting, the sweetness of the moment… It has been long since I felt like this. Is she feeling it too? What should I do? I don’t want to talk, I don’t want to know, I don’t want to break the moment.

“I know.” She whispers, more to herself than to me, and I feel a light trembling coming through her body, like her knees were getting weak, as if she was giving up to something she had been resisting. Both of us pull our faces closer. Her hands run up my back to my neck and my waist. I put my hands around her hips and press her body against mine. That’s when we kiss, when we feel we have a tight grab of each other. I don’t want to let her go. She doesn’t want to let me go.

The kiss is soft, our lips barely rubbing at first, and then becoming hadrer, with her lips clumsily pressing against mine, and then my tongue, just as clumsy trying to make the way to her mouth. She opens her mouth to let me in, just to turn the kiss into a hot mess, or should I say an intense dance. Her kiss is hungry. For a second I feel like she wants to eat me alive. Not that I am complaining. But my kiss… My kiss is desperate. Because I don’t want to let her go. The moment I got that close to her I felt something growing in my chest, and when I felt her lips against mine, it was like something came back to place. Like a piece that I didn’t know was missing had suddenly clicked. Maybe it’s just wanting, just lust. But if I am honest to myself, it’s not just that. I know the feeling of pure physical, sexual desire and this… this is not quite the same. Still, it must be. _Damn, Dick, you just met her_. Yes… There’s that feeling too, that for sure. The desire running through my veins, my brain filled with the steamiest, wildest images, the heat going down my brain to my pants - _that’s a delicate way of saying you know what_ \- and back. The kiss only ends because we need some air, but neither of us is happy with ending it. I need to think clearly.

My name is Dick Grayson. I’m twenty-two years old. I came to this house to help a friend find the girl he has a massive crush on in a party. I am one of the only two people sober here, along with Barbara Gordon, who I found outside. And now, I want her.

 

**V. Barbara.**

I need to clear my mind. _Breathe in, breathe out. Very well_. My name is Barbara Gordon, I’m twenty-one years old and I cannot drink because I’m on antibiotics but still I came to this party. And I’m here because my friends care about me, really, even if the experience was terrible until two hours ago. I am in the entrance of someone’s house. 80’s music is loud inside the house. Dick and I were dancing to it. Dick and I kissed, and I liked it. I like the way he kisses. I like the way his hands press my skin. I like feeling his body against mine, and the way he has to lean in to kiss me. I don’t know exactly what I am feeling, but I know it’s a fresh-new emotion. There are butterflies in my stomach, flying around like crazy. There is fire under my skin. If I let my hands do what they want, they’ll soon crawl on his skin, wander around secret places. If my thoughts were out loud, I’d be begging him to touch me, explore me, caress me. If I let my body act exactly the way it wants now, he’d be on the floor and I’d be on top of him right now, not caring about being outside, or the party going on behind us or the cold night.

I don’t know anything about relationships. Sure, I’ve had some romantic interaction in the past. Sure, I’ve been in someone else’s bed. Sure, I know how - _love_ \- is supposed to feel. I’ve loved before. I have wanted before, I have felt this thirst, this need for another person, another body. This need to feel needed. Yet this all comes off as a new situation, and I am liking it. _You are a fool, Barbara Gordon. You will regret this_. Alright, but I’ll regret later: tomorrow, in a week or in a year, but not now. This is too precious to let it go, it makes me feel good, and warm and somehow, at home. I like this feeling. And maybe, maybe I like Dick Grayson too and not just the way he makes me feel.

I don’t know what is going on in his mind, but one thing I know: he wants me, and he probably wants me just as much and just in the way I want him.

He leans in for another kiss, and I place both my arms tightly around his shoulders. I have a liking for strong shoulders -who doesn’t? And Dick’s shoulders feel like heaven. He kissed me but it looks like he is afraid of doing anything with his hands or the rest of his body and that is killing me. I need to feel his skin against my skin. I get goosebumps when I feel his fingertips on my neck. To be fair, I am wearing terribly complicated clothes. I cannot quit my bodysuit unless I quit my pants first and that probably implies taking off my shoes as well. That means that for him to place his hand against the skin in my waist, I’d need to be practically naked. Which is shitty, because now that I think about it, do I want to go _that_ far? I am not sure yet, but anyway- _Oh crap_. I don’t even have a condom. I feel like the universe is being cruel with me right now. Why am I wearing this outfit? Ah, yes, Dinah said we needed to dress up fancy and this was the only fancy thing I had, even if it looked more like a piece of lingerie -to be honest it probably was? I got it as a Secret Santa gift so who knows. I don’t even have proper shoes for it, I just grabbed my favorite high Converse pair. _Damnit_. And why is my phone all that I am carrying?

 _\--About six hours ago_ \--

“Babs, you should really bring a small purse,” told me Helena, while we were getting ready to leave the dorm and go to the party. “What if you need makeup?”

“I am not wearing makeup.” Helena rolled her eyes. She was finishing with her eyelashes.

“Money?”

“I got some bucks in my phone case.”

“Kleenex?”

“There is always someone you can ask for them.”

“True, but it’s less practical.”

“Yes, but not enough reason to carry a purse.” She finished her makeup. It was flawless. She didn’t do it often, but when she did, she did it like a professional. Her purple miniskirt and off-shoulder white shirt were very pretty and looked amazing on her. Don’t tell her I said these things tho.

“What if you succeed in flirting and need a condom?”

“I am not going to flit, Helena. I can say that for sure.”

Yes, Helena was right. But I was right too, it was never my intention to flirt. But Dick Grayson happened. _Back to the present, Babs_.

I am afraid I am being too intense. I feel dizzy. I don’t want him to think I am needy of greedy or desperate for sex. Though maybe I am a little bit of it all. He puts me against the wall, then his hands fall from my hips to my butt. Hey, boy, that was surely a move- he lifts me up and presses me against the wall, but gently. _This fucking guy really did that_. He did _that_. How dares he. How- How did he do like three movements but it made feel like it had been the sexiest thing to ever happen to me. How.

“Fuck off.” I mutter, pissed.

“What?” he asks in my ear. Did I say that out loud? I smile at him and press my legs tightly against his hips, he clenches his teeth. _Oops sensitive zone reached_. Will you ever shut up?

“Just keep going, will you?”

“Gladly.” His mouth falls to the place where my jaw and neck meet and kisses it in the most tender way. How cute. Then I feel his tongue on a particularly sensitive point. A kiss, his lips rubbing the skin in my neck going lower every time and then his teeth on my throat. I swear I had to bit my tongue not to moan. I’m not giving him that satisfaction _yet_. My whole body relaxes after the contact and his lips return to mine. I kiss him as if his lips were the water of an oasis in the middle of the desert. Damn. He is a good kisser. _Well, to be fair I am a very good kisser too_. We fight to see who takes the lead, this time he wins, and he finishes the kiss when he wants, much to my despair. He laughs softly in my ear. His low voice, now in a whisper makes me melt inside, both physically and psychologically. “Anything against hickeys?” I don’t know what to answer. I don’t care, at this point he could probably make the dirtiest proposition and I’d say _yes_ without hesitating. I’d love to scratch his back, would that be out of place?

“Just go on.” Heaven knows I hate leaving all the work to him, but he is doing it too well, what can I do against that? There is nothing I can do right now that would make it better.

Truth is… I do like Dick Grayson, and not just the way he is making me feel. I love the way his arms feel strong, but tender. I love the way he asks for permission before doing any moment -with gestures, with a moment of silence, with his eyes, with his mouth or with words-, it makes me feel comfortable. As it should be. I love the way he stares at me. I love that he is holding me like he is afraid if he doesn’t, I will disappear. I love that he giggles when I am being a little too impatient, or a little too rough. I love the way his fingers run through my hair. I love that he tells me I’m beautiful not with words, but just looking at me and smiling.

 

**VI. Dick.**

She makes me feel like I’m in a different reality, an alternative timeline. She is warm, welcoming, but she is active, she is always fighting to take the lead, even in the simplest of things. I can see her struggle sometimes, with words, with actions, like she was thinking too fast for her body to work, but she makes up her mind soon. I can see that she is a little like me, that I am a little like her. That we can understand each other easily, even if we are supposed to be complete strangers. I love the way she is constantly telling me _I am here, I won’t go anywhere_ with every caress, every kiss, every whisper. I love that she is just letting it go and enjoying herself. I love she is unapologetic about what she wants and _how_ she wants it. I love that she always does this thing… like she is checking twice if I am ok.

When she leans and her eyes meet mine, I understand that this cheerful redhead, that could not drink today, that loves her friends, that is probably genius-level intelligent, is just another person looking for her place. Another lonely person that just wants to be wanted, to feel loved. I can relate to that. I am for sure lonely in many ways, though I have lots of friends and loved ones. I am still struggling to find my place, to find myself. And I want to feel needed, desired, and loved. Don’t we all do it, after all?

Barbara Gordon… She is more than a “dream come true”. She is a real person, and I feel we understand each other. She makes me feel safe, secure, at home. In this moment, with her, laughing, making out, talking, I feel relaxed. The whole world seems like a more peaceful place. I know it’s stupid. I know it’s a little crazy. But- But I know my heart. I know the way it’s beating now. I know I like Barbara Gordon, the person behind the name, and the face and all. It’s just _her_.

We don’t feel cold at all, but decide to get inside when we see what time it is. Even if we don’t feel the cold, we might catch one. To be honest, it’s not like we check what time it is just because we want to or feel like it. We are sitting, tangled on the stairs that lead to the house, playing with our hands, kissing, whispering nonesenses, stories, whatever it is and still refusing to go inside the mess that the party must be right now. Then my phone vibrates. It’s 5am. Wally is begging me to take him home. Almost in that very same moment, Barbara gets a message from her friend, telling her they will sleep together in the basement because their other friend passed out. I stare at Barbara, my heart so heavy it might break. But I smile. She pouts, but then stands up and kisses me one more time, before asking me about my social networks. We exchange ID’s and she makes me promise to message her when I get home. I do as she tells me. I would do whatever she wants me to do at this point. I ask her if she wants me to drive her and her friends home, but she rejects it. I can say she doesn’t want to let me go, with her hand sliding slowly underneath mine.

“It was great to meet you.” She says, her voice soft.

“It was. You tell me too when you get home tomorrow, ‘kay?”

“Sure. Thanks for all.”

“Thank you. I loved this night.” I don’t know what else to say. She smiles. I would run after her, but that would be stupid. The final words were awkward, but the rest of the night wasn’t. Those hours together feel like a minute now. There is a feeling that everything ends with this night, but I hope I am wrong. Wally steps out of the house. He is certainly still a little drunk and quite sleepy.

“How did it go?” I ask, my eyes still staring at Barbara, who is entering the house using the other door. When she finally disappears, I look at Wally. He wasn’t listening to me and instead was staring with curiosity at the place where Babs had been. I guess it went well since I can see lipstick on his shirt.

“Who is she?”

“Someone I met.”

“Oh.”

“Come on, let’s go home.” I offer him my arm so he doesn’t trip and fall while getting out of the place. Wally smiles at me. Suddenly, I don’t feel like it will be over after this night…

“Man, I have so many things to tell you.” Wally says as I start up the car, before peacefully falling asleep.


	2. Call Me!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second, and final part. Thank you all so much for your nice comments and your kudos, it means the world to me. I hope this is any good and that you like it :)

**Chapter 2. Call me!**

**VII. Barbara. Morning.**

I am waking up because it’s so hot here. It’s three of us sleeping on one bed, after all. Dinah is clinging to me so tightly I am afraid to move and wake her up. I manage to take my phone. It’s midday. I smell like sweat and perhaps saliva too and the girls smell like alcohol and other nasty things. I think about Dick’s message from hours ago saying they were home and safe. That reminds me of how much I need a car. Dina has a pretty and very badass bike, but she can’t take the three of us –at least not legally. Helena’s scooter is also too small and it broke two weeks ago. So here we are, sleeping in someone else’s house.

I accidentally hit Helena when I move my foot because she is sleeping across the bottom of the bed. Dinah and I can’t do anything but be in fetal position so we don’t hit her. I’m trapped here. I won’t be able to move until they move too. I’d like to get home soon so I can finish my homework as I had planned… Not to mention I really need to pee.

Dinah coughs, and then her grip on me loosens and she opens her eyes slowly, with a grin. The room is illuminated by a small window on the side, and it’s enough to see everything, though it’s not bright enough to really bother when sleeping. Dinah rubs her eyes like a sleepy baby, which is very cute. Then she stares at me and smiles, and gives me a kiss on the cheeck and asks me what time is it. I show her my phone with the time and she panics, her eyes wide open while sitting down all of a sudden. She hits Helena on the head and she, complains but then wakes up because she has no more option. I think she is about to kill us. Help. She is so scary. Helena is angrily staring at us and I am fearing for my life when Dinah tells her what time it is. Then she panics too.

“What’s so bad? I mean, yes it’s very late but–“

“We have a deadline.” They say at the same time.

“In exactly an hour.” Says Dinah, while standing up and fixing her blonde hair using her fingers. “We need to send the project via e-mail.”

“Why didn’t you do it earlier?” I don’t want to sound like the mom of the group, but to be honest, I’ve always been the mom friend. I give them my best angry mom look while putting on my shoes. Helena is putting on her skirt and by the way she is doing it, I think she is still a little drunk.

“Our professor is an asshole. There’s barely 40 minutes to send it to him.” Helena finishes putting on her shoes and is ready to run upstairs when Dinah gasps loudly.

“Babs, oh my dear what happened to you?!” I look at her, confused. Her eyes are wide open with surprise, and maybe a little horror.

“What?” I stare at my hands, my shorts, my shirt… Nothing. I touch my hair. Is it that? I now it’s in bad state but-

“Oh my god, look at this.” Helena got close to me, then pulls my shirt down a little and made me turn my head with a finger on my jaw. What? What’s going on? Is it cancer? Helena laughs loudly, Dinah keeps watching with the same face. What the hell is going on? “It’s like a vampire visited you tonight.” Helena is laughing so loud, she will wake up anyone that might be still sleeping in the house. Dinah frowns, then gets close to my neck and then forms a perfect “o” with her lips. I frown too, looking at her while we go upstairs. Helena has a very good vision that Dinah doesn’t really have. I think Dinah would need glasses but whatever. In the first floor, the light of the day comes from everywhere, and it’s so bright my eyes hurt. Helena is already serving herself a glass of water. Dinah, behind me, blinks a couple times then looks at me and starts laughing as well.

“If you could see yourself, you’d be scandalized, sweetheart.” She is trying really hard to contain her laughing. I just roll my eyes, and change the subject. That’s what you do when you don’t get the joke, right?

“We should help a little with picking up all this dirt before leaving.” They are probably making fun of me just because.

“Sure. Where are the trash bags?” asks Dinah. Helena clicks her tongue, bothered. She wants to go home now, but when she realizes we are totally serious, she mutters, pointing at a corner.

“I think they are over here…”

“Be right back.” I really, really, really need to pee. I find the toilet in the first floor too dirty to enter so I adventure in the second floor and find the bathroom incredibly clean, almost as if it had been closed all night. Bless. Finally, I get to release all that liquid. I am sorry for whoever will clean the toilet downstairs. Maybe I should stay and help them? But first I need to wash my face, I feel so dirty for just being in this house. I need a shower too. I wash my face and then catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I take some toilet paper and dry the water falling from my face… And then I see it. Holy shit. I have the biggest hickey I’ve ever seen. I can’t help but gasp. Shit. It’s right there. Down my neck. With an awful blue-ish color. Fucking Dick Grayson. Is there any way to cover this with makeup? I can’t just go outside looking like this. People will ask questions. How will I answer my Sunday videocall with dad? My classmates will be low-key judging me. And Cass! Is this a bad example to give a minor? Maybe it is? Ah, terrible, terrible, terrible. Not that I had anything against it last night. I just didn’t think it would be there tomorrow, if that makes any sense. I look again at my reflection and this time I can’t help but smile. I smile because I remember about last night, and about Dick and the fun we had. I am laughing alone in someone else’s toilet, this is weird. Thing is, I am more than sure that he has one too, sweet revenge.

When I come out of the bathroom, smiling like a fool, I almost jump and scream in fear when I find someone right in front of me. She gasps, but then quickly puts her finger on her lips, begging for silence.

“Some people is still sleeping.” She tells me, and then she gives me a warm smile. She looks familiar. That hair… Oh, yes, she is the girl that was in a make out session in the grey or maybe blue sofa. She looks completely sober now, and she is wearing a man t-shirt too big for her and probably panties too. Wow, she is so tall.

“Is this your house?” She shakes her head.

“Truth is I haven’t been able to find out whose house this is.”

“Me neither.” I laugh softly and she keeps smiling.

“I stole this from a random closet because my dress got dirty. There was something in the sofa that-.”

“I know, it was disgusting.” I grin, and she nods in agreement. Poor girl, I hope her dress finds salvation. She is holding said cloth in her hands.

“I couldn’t quit it from my dress so I have to wash it. Is there any soap in the bathroom?”

“Yes. Do you need any help?”

“I’ll do fine, thanks. By the way, I’m Kori.”

“Barbara. Nice to meet you.” She gives me a handshake.

“Are you cleaning the first floor?” she asks, when she hears Helena and Dinah making noise and loudly arguing about plastic bags.

“Yes, we thought–“

“Ah, don’t worry about that there is someone in charge for it already. I overheard last night.”

“You sure?” she nods. She takes a step to the bathroom and I stare at her. There’s something I’m missing here- wait, if she is the sofa girl isn’t she Dick’s ex? Okay, this is kind awkward. “Hey, do you know about the bus routes here? Someone drove us here but I don’t know–“

“You come from the College?” I nod.

“I need to go too. If you give me ten minutes I can drive you there. How many of you?”

“Three.”

“Then sure, I’ll do it.”

“Oh, there’s no need to–“

“Never mind.” She smiles at me. “And it’s nice meeting new people, so we all get something from it, right? Just let me wash this and pick up my stuff.”

Kori drives us to the campus. She works part-time in a café nearby and she starts her shift at 2pm. She says she is lucky to have an uniform, but being honest, she managed using that probably-older-than-us AC/DC t-shirt in a very chick way. At first I don’t know how I should feel about being in her car, especially since she gave me a mysterious look when looking at my neck though she didn’t say anything about it. To be honest, as we were talking and all I conclude Kori is a great girl and she is so chill. Bless her soul. We thank her for the ride and she tells us to drop by her café someday. I say I will.

Helena -wearing dark sunglasses to cover the bags under her eyes- and Dinah -who has the biggest headache- literally run to their dorm to send the project. I walk to my dorm. I forgot my keys, so I knock, praying that Cass is inside. Cassandra Cain, my roommate is the sweetest girl ever, though she doesn’t talk too much. She is only seventeen, so she didn’t come to the party. She opens the door and her cute smile soon turns to a strange gaze.

“You look terrible.” She says. She is so straightforward. I love her.

“I know. How was the night?” She shrugged, then went back to read her Spiderman book.

“You had fun?”

“Yes.” She smiled at me, and patted my shoulder before quietly offering me my towel. I get it, Cass, I’ll have a shower in a second. First, I message Dick:

Your ex just drove us home. She is great.

He answers with a laughing face and then says:

                I hope you didn’t say bad stuff about me.

                I’m glad you returned safely. [Here a super cute kissy face]. Take care.

 

**VIII.  Dick.**

I can’t help but smile while I answer Barbara’s message. I’m in Wally’s place. He woke up a while ago and he is just coming out from the shower while I eat chips while watching some TV. He goes out of the bathroom, a towel tied around his waist, and another one for drying his hair. He needs a haircut, but if I say that, he’ll probably kick me out.

“So, will you tell me now how it was?” I ask him.

“First you do.”

“Me?”

“Was that redhead the one that did that to you?” He is referring to Barbara, obviously. He saw her when she was getting into the house, before we left.

“Did what?” Wally has a mischievous side smile on his face when pointing at my neck. I am wrapped in blankets on Wally’s sofa, so I have to sit and uncover and then use the selfie camera to look at myself. Oh. She really did that. Are these… Her teeth? Oh my. How did this happen? I know my skin, this will take at least five days to go. Tough to be honest, there’s something sexy about it. Am I being to kinky?

“I mean, I think you got to second phase, or maybe even third phase? I only got to first one, so you talk first.” Wally shrugs, like it’s the obvious rule for last night confessions.

“I– No, you talk first and then I tell you.”

“Rock paper scissors?” Wally raises an eyebrow, and I understand this is my only chance to get him talk first. He does scissors, I do rock. I win, he talks.

“OK, so where do I start?”

“How about starting by the beginning?”

“I was born in– “ I roll my eyes so hard I feel them hurting. Wally laughs. “Alright, alright. I met her, Dick. I really did it. I saw her and I didn’t have the courage to speak to her, but then she saw me and it was like… It was like in the movies. She smiled at me from the kitchen and asked me if I wanted a beer and I said yes.”

“So that’s why you never came back with my Coke…” Of course, after that moment, at the beginning of the party –though we arrived not so fashionably late– I lost track of him. And I mean, he has this really distinctive hair and silhouette, it isn’t so easy to lose track of him. I take a can of soda he has brought for me and I see him nodding in front of me. Yes, of course. “What’s her name?” Wally shakes his head. Oh, I know what that means. That means he is about to give every detail speaking at the speed of light. He is a fast speaker. And he likes giving details when he is excited. Which is how I gained most of my physics knowledge, actually.

“Wait, first we met, ok? Then, after she gave me the brightest smile in the universe she goes like I’ve seen you around, right? And I’m like well yes, to be honest we study in the same campus and I see you often at the cafeteria. And she goes like oh really? And I say, yes and she says “ah, that’s why you look familiar. But we haven’t talked before, right? I’d remember your face” and I was so nervous because I didn’t want to sound like a stalker, but I think I totally sounded like a stalker when I tell her we haven’t met before and ask her if Plato is a good read. She looked confused and I tell her I saw her reading The Banquet and she laughs and tells me that it is really interesting and that she has been reading a lot of Ancient Greek philosophers lately -which I already knew- and I ask her what’s her major and she tells me she is studying history and she says “you look like a scientific” and well, she is right so I blush and she laughs and she has the prettiest laugh like, I don’t know, it’s so bright and- Anyway, she goes and tells me her name is Donna. Isn’t it a pretty name?” I almost chocked on my drink. Wally stares at me in horror, and I cough for long, long seconds until I can breathe again. I can’t believe. I truly cannot believe what I am hearing.

“Donna?”

“Yes. She loves dancing and jumping around and damn, the girl is ripped like she could lift me up with one hand which is honestly pretty hot. And she loves 80’s music, and she really doesn’t like Medieval history and– “ I am in absolute shock. Wally is such a fool. I am such fool.

“Like Donna Troy?”

“Yes. How do you know?” Wally looks at me, his head slightly leaning to one side, his eyebrow raised.

“We’ve been friends since like we were twelve.”

“What? Why didn’t you tell me before?!”

“Because you were so mysterious about this girl reading in the cafeteria! If I knew I would have introduced you two so much earlier.” Wally is in shock, his mouth wide open and then he goes all dramatic.

“I feel so betrayed,” he says quietly. Then he turns around. Nah, he can’t be angry because of this, it makes no sense. He is a logical person. Still. Maybe I should have just shut up.

“Wally– “ I say, putting my hand on his shoulder. Then he starts laughing.

“She told me you were friends when I told her I had come with a friend. We laughed about it all night. She said she had been curious about me for moths because I always came to the cafeteria exactly at the same time every day and I ordered exactly the same thing every time, but that she thought that was an odd time to come because the whole place was mostly empty. So, turns out we have been observing each other all this time but we never spoke but then both of us were friends of yours. Which sounds pretty much like a cliché romantic comedy but what can I do.” He shrugs and I laugh about it too. Then he tells me all about how they danced, how they saw drunk people doing very nasty things, how Donna got tired of the music and put her own iPod to run when nobody noticed, how they had managed to get into one of the rooms upstairs with two other people and they had played games for the rest of the night. He told me they had kissed but he didn’t really know if it was an actual kiss because it was a dare in a truth or dare game and I tell him that’s totally legit but he says that it shouldn’t. They went out, walked around –how didn’t Babs and I see them? – and tried counting the stars, but refused and she fell asleep on his shoulder so he made sure to call a taxi for her and then he came home with me.

“I think I’m in love, man.”

“I’m so happy for you.” I say, as I smile. Wally leans back, puts his feet on the table in front of us and then gives me a side smile. “So, who is the redhead?”

“Her name is Barbara.” I can’t help but smile, as I speak. That’s all I say. Wally doesn’t seem happy.

“Is that all? You got her number? What did you two do that you have that thing? Where is she from? Tell meeeee.” I shake my head, smiling.

“I got her number, she arrived home safely. She is a great girl. And you are old enough, to ask those things, Wallace,” he sighs when I call him like that. “Do you need explicit drawings?”

“Ah, ok, say what you say. And then I am the mysterious one…” I hit his arm, and then he throws my blankets at me.

 

  1. **Barbara. Days later.**



I stare at the phone. There is no message. In the era of technology, this is the equivalent of being completely alone, though Cass is reading right beside me, with her earphones.

Not even Dinah is messaging me, and much less… Dick. How long has it been since the party? Years? I haven’t talked to him. I didn’t know what to say. So, I waited for him to talk first. But he is not talking to me. Should I talk to him? Or maybe it was just a one-night-only thing? Maybe I was just wrong and he didn’t like me or want me as much as I thought that night. Oh, glory night. But it is over. I haven’t seen him around. Maybe I just exaggerated things and I just didn’t like him so much and what I feel now is the longing for something that never really existed. I don’t know. Should I ask Dinah? We haven’t really talked about it. She didn’t ask, expecting me to tell her and I just told her I had been with a guy named Dick. I didn’t know how to explain how I felt then or now, so I didn’t say anything else. It just felt like the right thing to do. Desperately, I leave my unfinished homework on my bed and turn to Cass. I get her attention immediately.

“What would you do?”

“About what?” there is no confusion in her voice, just a calmed almost stoic tone and look.

“Should I message him?” She doesn’t know the whole situation, but sometimes, Cass just knows best, no matter what. She is the young but wise type.

“Has he messaged you?”

“No.”

“Since when?”

“Too long.” She hesitates, scratching her short hair.

“Look,” She leans to her shelve, takes an old coin from a little box and gives it to me. “Head you speak to him, tails you don’t.” That’s exactly what I do. So turns out no speaking to him.

“Thanks.” She nods, then goes back to her book and I go back to my homework. I know it’s stupid, but I feel much better now, after this little trick. At least my mind is clear for a while.

Cass wakes up really early, so she goes to sleep early as well. I stay awake for a while, finishing homework. And then I hear it. The working out guy. I swear it’s like he is doing it right next to me. I hate it. Cass doesn’t notice because she sleeps against the opposite wall and because she uses plugs when sleeping. But I hate using earplugs, and I hate this noise. It is not the noise itself, but the fact that it is like an annoying constant sound for a while. I don’t know. Maybe it’s just because it reminds me of funnier things to do. But I just hate it.

Morning, I wake up, have breakfast, and as always, two people have left the cereal out of the cupboard, so I put it back where it belongs. One person forgot and left it right there. Then, there’s this other person that always puts the cereal in the coffee cupboard. When things are out of place, everybody starts complaining about other people robbing their stuff, so it’s better to put it in the right place. I always put it where it belongs. I don’t know, maybe this person just forgets about it all the time or has bad memory. It is a little annoying, but not too much, to be honest. Like I hate it’s out of place, but it’s not a big deal moving it.

The classes are getting boring these days. It’s like my mind can’t really stay in place... Which is honestly awful. I keep thinking about the other night, I keep having hope. Though I am pretty much hopeless by now. Truth is I shouldn’t mind. I should keep Dick in my mind as nothing but a good memory. I don’t have time for dating, I don’t have the energy for all that emotional labor. When I was in middle school, I discovered how truly consuming it can be to be in a relationship, or looking for one. It was so much lost time. In the end, I found nothing but hurt, and people not appreciating the effort I was making. Then, later, I tried it again, probably because I like hard things and puzzles. I was determined to figure out the enigma that is human relationships. I made a lot of friends during that time, friends I still have today. I was determined to discover what romantic love and affection was. But I found nothing but an unclimbable wall, a wall made out of people that didn’t quite understand me, or my needs and dreams or worse: people whose mind, whose hopes and personalities I couldn’t understand at all. I didn’t hurt anyone, that I know. No one hurt me. But I learned that finding a person you can even share things with is very difficult. I learned that you build a relationship and it can fall apart anytime, and it is only natural. Yet, it all seems like in love that is multiplied by a hundred. Everything is harder: people don’t want to share their lives, their love, affection and kisses and thoughts with someone they can’t completely trust and connect with. Which is understandable. And finding someone like that is not difficult, but exhausting. I don’t have time for that. My number one goal at the moment is graduating with the highest marks possible and then going to this one particular master in this really good university –which by no means I can access without a scholarship– and then probably going for the PhD. I want to work hard, be the best. Not just because of the jobs and money and all that. I just feel if I do something, I need to do it in the best possible way. So, no. I don’t have time to play cat and mouse right now.

Dinah wakes me up from my own thoughts, when she jumps right next to me, gives me the burger I had ordered and then sits in front of me. She smiles widely, her waitress uniform a little small for her seems to smile too when it curves slightly up her thighs as she sits down.

“I have like two minutes, so this needs to go fast.”

“Thanks, Dinah, I truly appreciate your greetings.” I start eating my hamburger, and she rolls her eyes and cleans something in her jeans. “No offense, but you look pretty ridiculous with that smock.”

“I know, right? I forgot mine at home and had to borrow this one.” She sighs. She is tired, I can tell. She has been working hard, double shift, so she can have vacations in a couple weeks and visit her family, friends and boyfriend. She stares at my phone, on the table and seems to remember something. “By the way, has this Dick guy messaged you?”

“No.”

“Really? That’s terrible. Why don’t you call him or something?”

“I don’t know, Dinah. I don’t think he wants that? Like maybe he just thinks it was a one night thing and that’s why he hasn’t said a word.”

“Bullshit. Talk to him.” She commands, handing me my own phone.

“I don’t think I should.”

“Do it.”

“But why?” I protest.

“Because there is literally no way you know if he wants nothing more from you or you want nothing else from him if you two don’t talk first. He was sober, he will remember for sure.” I frown, and she insists. I take my phone, unlock it and go to my conversation with Dick. “Babs, trying won’t kill you.”

“What if… it is awkward?”

“Living is awkward enough,” she smiles warmly at me. “Talk to him. Try having some fun. See what happens. Maybe you two start dating. Or maybe you find a new friend. Or you stop talking forever. Who knows? And who cares? The important thing is you try. Worst case scenario he is an asshole and we go and kick his ass. Which would be fun too.” She looks at the clock and sighs. She stands up, stretches and massages her back for a moment. “How long has it been since we were in a good fight? I need to relieve tensions.” She leans to pat my head. “I need to go back to work. See you!”

 

  1. **Dick.**



I haven’t slept all night and I really need some food. I am starving. I’ll fall asleep in my next class for sure if I don’t have some coffee. I decide to go to my favorite restaurant in campus because I feel like my stomach deserves some nice food and not the usual pale looking food from the dorm. I pay and go straight to the buffet. Ah, the smell. It’s wonderful. It makes my belly roar. When I am going through the multiple plates, joining the small queue there, I come across Kori. We have long surpassed the phase where starting casual conversations is awkward. Which is great, especially since we share quite some friends. She is distracted, not knowing which pasta to choose, so I put my hand on her arm. She looks at me and smiles as I say:

“Hey.”

“Hi, Dick. I didn’t see you. How’s life?”

“Busy as usual.”

“I told you law was no piece of cake.” She shrugs.

“I know.” I smile, as I put some pasta on my plate. She chooses the other one instead. “How are you? I saw you at the party some days ago.”

“Ah, you did? I didn’t see you back then!” she pouts. I laugh softly. She is now trying to choose her type of sauce. I think this is her first time here.

“This one is great.” I suggest. She doesn’t look convinced, but then she puts the sauce on the pasta.

“I’m trusting you, huh,” She puts some of that sauce on my spaghetti too, without asking. She knows that I was reaching for it. It is almost sub-conscious. “By the way, you heard about Donna and Wally, right? I mean, of course you did because you and Wally are together all the time, but still– I never expected them to date.”

“Wait, they are dating?”

“So says Donna.”

“That little son of a– He just told me they were meeting today.”

“Well, apparently it’s official,” she shrugs. “The ways are love are unknown.”

“Truly. Seems like love is flourishing again within the group,” I smile, more to myself than to her. She looks confused for a moment. “Must be the spring.”

“What do you mean?” I should probably shut up right here but I don’t. Being quiet has never been my best.

“You and Roy– “ she seems mortified for a second.

“Ah, you saw _that_ ,” she clicks her tongue, with a side smile that I can’t quite read. Yes. You should have shut up. “We– I mean I… He–” She sighs and shakes her head. “It’s complicated.”

“Alright,” I try to laugh my mistake off. I shouldn’t have asked. Especially since last time I knew anything about Roy, he had a massive no questions letter upon his head. Why should I care anyway? I’ve never liked gossip. I probably sounded like– “Love is… Complicated, I guess.”

“No, Dick,” Kori fills her drink, and her long hair moves as if it was a flame, following her owner to the table where her classmates are waiting. Her smile is as warm as always, her green eyes with a mysterious bright. “Love should never be complicated.”

That makes me think, as I go to one free table and sit on my own. Kori hates complicated things. In love and in life. She likes things to flow and always looks at things in a very simple way. She follows her instinct every time. Me– I like enigmas. I like making dissections of things, analyzing everything to the millimeter. I like complicated stuff. Kori herself, though, is a mystery I’ve never been able to truly solve, as if that simplicity was just a façade for a complicated mechanism. I guess that’s what drove us apart: she let me in too much, but I could never understand, yet she comprehended me with the blink of an eye though I never let her in, not truly. But we have moved on, we grew up, we changed. Because we learned. I learned from that bittersweet feeling I have sometimes when I see her: it was a lot of time together, after all. And still, I think it’s beautiful we learned together.

Now, after all this time, I’m willing to let someone in. To let someone know all about me. I want to know someone like that too, and now I know I would know how to appreciate it.

I am thinking about all these things, and wondering about Donna and Wally (should I call them Dolly?) when my phone rings. I feel my heart is about to jump from my chest.

It’s Barbara. Finally. I have been doubting whether to talk to her or not. I was worried. Maybe… Maybe she thought I was just a one-night guy. Maybe she didn’t like me. Maybe we just felt like that that night because we were all alone. Maybe it was all a mistake. Maybe… Ah, who cares now? She messaged me. She truly did it. What should I do right now? What should I reply?

I open the App slowly and read every letter of the message with care, as if I was afraid of letting it go, like that night where I was so irrationally afraid of the possibility Barbara could disappear. Maybe… Maybe I need someone. The thought alone leaves a strange taste in my mouht. But still… maybe I feel too alone sometimes. Maybe I have craved that sort of intimacy and understanding from the other night for way too long. Maybe that’s why. And Barbara seemed to understand that feeling completely. She shared it. She felt it too. Could all of that be just an illusion? I was too afraid of breaking that memory so I didn’t speak to her all these days. What if I couldn’t feel that again when I spoke to her? The feelings, the great memory from the night we spent together would vanish, become just another night.

My mind is burning with thoughts, so I need to re-read the message again.

Hi, Dick! Remember me? Since you said you liked pancakes I thought we could go and eat some.

A friend works in a café that serves really nice ones.

I mean.

If you want to.

Because they are truly out- of-this-world good.

She is still writing. I wait for her to finish, but it seems endless. Finally, she sends nothing more. I reply almost embarrassingly fast.

                It’d be great. I know you have great taste.

                Should we go on Friday?

I hesitate whether or not I should write this but, you know, I never know when to shut up.

                I’d love to see you.

She replies –not fat enough, I must add–:

                Friday is perfect.

And suggests a location to meet. I agree, again, almost embarrassingly fast.

When I go back to the dorm, I still have a foolish smile on my face. Garth, my roommate, raises his eyes from his computer, where he is probably -hopefully- doing his homework and not watching Netflix.

“What’s up with that smile?”

“Is it wrong for me to smile or something?”

“No, I mean... It’s just like you look like you have just been kissed by Mila Kunis.” Not gonna lie,  love Mila Kunis.

“I have a date.”

“Really?” He is so surprised, he puts his laptop aside to have a better glimpse of my face.

“Yes.” I am a little offended. He talks like I never get dates or something.

“Don Juan is back in town…”

“Shut up! By the way, have you been marking my cereal with a blue X?”

“No. I never touch your cereal. That shit is made for birds, not for humans.” I click my tongue. I need to find this person and tell them to stop moving my cereal.

 

  1. **Barbara.**



I really have a date. I have a date with Dick Grayson. So, what now? What should I wear? How can I wait so long? This is killing me. There is a part of me that just wants to see his face, throw my arms around his neck and hug him all night while watching some low-budget zombie movie. I just want to eat chocolate with him while he tells me funny stories. I want him to be quietly beside me, lying on the grass. I want him to read for me until I fall asleep, to stroke his hair and see if he snores when he sleeps. I want to kiss him to wipe out that bit of cream. Shit, I’m being so corny. I don’t mean to– I mean, what can I do? There is a little riot in my heart, in my mind when I think about him. I genuinely feel good talking to him.

Oh, that’s a thing. We have been talking all day, every day, since we decided to have a date. Well, we didn’t say it is a date but it is obviously a date. To be honest, I’m nervous. _Told you, you don’t have time for this_. See? That’s what makes me nervous. I’m going crazy, this whole waiting is killing me.

The guy… He is a flirt. We can have a casual conversation but he is not afraid to let an insinuation fall here and there. He has a good sense of humor. He is pretty sarcastic, and I like that. He seems like a very honest person, which is refreshing. I’ve seen so many fakes these last couple years. He is also a bit of a nerd and overall I am convinced he is perfect. His only sin: he knows it. He knows he is like a god or something. While he doesn’t seem to be the big fragile ego type, he is surely proud of himself. So far, after going through all kinds of topics –food, politics, places we’ve been in, family, dreams and hopes, friendship, sex, hobbies, sport, etc– I haven’t found a single thing I didn’t like. It’s not because we agree on everything. We have similar opinions, but we have very different taste as well. And oh, he is a walking fashion disaster. If it wasn’t for the fact that face and body can pull off pretty much anything, it’d be a mess. He can’t combine colors to save his life. Fortunately, he decided to buy mostly plain black t-shirts and jeans. Oh, he is also terrible when it comes to selfies, but again, is saved by his Hollywood star face. He’s a lucky bastard.

Cass is about to fall asleep, I can feel it by the way she is looking at that YouTube video on her phone. Her eyes look heavy. I have finished my homework, so I tide up as quietly as I can. My stomach roars. I didn’t have dinner because the food looked suspicious today –not that the dorm food is the best around. I’ll have some cereal, or maybe a cup of instant chocolate… As I get into the kitchen, and open the cupboard where I have the cocoa, I find the cereal box. Again. Why doesn’t this person learn? They have like half-finished three boxes in the cereal closet. I know it’s that person because who else would eat that stuff? Whatever. I get into the room again –Cass already fell asleep, so I turn off the light– and take a blue marker. It is quite a distinctive color. I’ve been marking these cereal boxes that apparently have no owner with an X. I even left a note about it, telling how I had been marking the boxes so it was easier to tell they actually belonged to somenone,  but it disappeared. Anyway. I mark the cereal box, put it in the right place and prepare milk with cocoa for myself. It is not too late, but everyone is already in their rooms and the corridor is dark except by the streetlights illuminating the place through the open windows.

I walk as lightly and quietly as I can, barefoot. Hmm, I really needed a hot drink. I low-key hope nobody sees me with this long sleeved light blue with tiny pink sheep pijamas. And then, when I am almost in my room, I hear it. No. No. No. Not today. I’ve had enough of this shit. This week I put a note under the door in that room, asking the owners not to make noise at night. They either ignored it or didn’t receive it. Most likely the first option. I won’t stand this anymore. I’ve had enough. I don’t mind if these two -the room is supposed to be identical to our room, so it must be shared- are going intimate, making satanic cults, working out or simply making noise for making noise. I really don’t care if I interrupt anything. They’ll need to hear me. Oh, yes. They are going to see the angry Barbara Gordon if they don’t respond well to the diplomatic Babs. I knock on the door, clear my throat, try to appear serious but not angry. I hear one of them say “you heard that?” It’s a boy. The other must have shaken his head. I knock again, softly –what if I wake Cass up? Nothing. I knock again, now insistently, all my frustration coming up. I know my next words will be a bit too hard, not nice enough and all and–

Fuck.

“Why are you knocking at this time in the ni–?” He lifts his eyes to me. Then he blinks two or three times and his eyes go from my tiptoes to my head. Those fucking blue eyes. He has a sweaty looking t-shirt around his neck and he is… Well, he is shirtless. Which is the evidence that proves that…

“You are the guy that works out here every night!” Dick stares at me in disbelief, then his eyes stop in my hands. I can’t help but let the anger out. “Don’t you have any other time in the whole day to work out? I am against that wall!” I say, as I point out inside the room. He has some stuff for working out there– Wait, is this room larger than Cassandra and mine’s? Oh my. Dick seems, however, in his own world. A black haired guy appears behind Dick.

“What’s going on?”

“I can’t sleep because he makes such an awful noise!” I say.

“Hey, no need to scream I–,” Dick stops out middle sentence, then frowns suddenly finding that something that he was trying to see while looking at my hands. It’s the marker. “You are the cereal guy?”

“What?”

“You are robbing my cereal!”

“I don’t rob your cereal! You always put it in the wrong place?”

“It is in my space!”

“No, there’s a special cupboard for cereal and people mark their stuff!” We stare at each other. In the eyes. For a moment, it seems like a clash of titans. But then… Then we both realize how stupid this whole thing is. And, too late, we also realize that we have talked too loud. And that Cass and about two or three people from other rooms are staring at us, some with funny smiles, others with sleepy faces, some pissed. I blush. Shit, they are seeing me with these clothes. Dick clears his throat. I lower my voice, my cheeks burning. I hope there isn’t enough light to notice that.

“You know we have a gym, right? Timing is no excuse, it’s open almost all day.”

“I have a stalker in that gym.” He whispers, managing to do it barely moving his lips.

“Are you kidding me?”

“Absolutely not. Look, I’m sorry, I will try to find other time. And please, don’t eat my cereal.”

“I never ate your cereal. I don’t like bird food.”

“I know, right?” says Dick’s roommate, who seems to be having fun with the whole situation. Dick gulps and then scratches his head.

“I didn’t know I was bothering anyone.”

“I put a note down your door this week.” I raise an eyebrow. He frowns. I cross my arms on my chest.

“Oops, my bad. I threw it away.” Says Dick’s roommate. Then he gets out of the room and says. “Okay everyone, there’s nothing to be seen here. Back to your rooms, hope you enjoyed the show.”

“Thanks, Garth.” Dick says. Cassie is looking at me. Then rolls her eyes and goes back inside. “Up for a walk?”

“In pajama?”

“Why not.” I shrug. He puts on a shirt and we go out. He sits in a bank. It’s a little cold outside, like the first time we met. We can’t see the moon where we are, but it is surely pretty these days. She always is. I feel more calmed now. And I also feel absolutely ridiculous. I want to sit in the bank but the truth is I don’t want to sit there with my sleeping clothes. I look at Dick. What does he think right now? What is going on? I notice I still have my cocoa in my hands, so I offer him some.

 

**XII. Dick.**

I take the cocoa. It is still hot. It feels good going down my throat. I look at the night sky, not a single star visible. Barbara stands up next to me. We’ve been in silence for about three minutes now. I am still processing the fact Barbara is the cereal girl. And also, that she has been sleeping right next to me for moths. What the hell.

“Are you… Still up for tomorrow? Even if I’m the guy you complained so much about when we first met?” she laughs, then looks to the sides, as if she was thinking very hard about the question.

“Sure, I’m up. But you need to know that you are annoying.”

“I know.”

“Very, annoying.”

“Ok, no need to be hard on me.” She laughs. I touch her hand when I give her back the cup of cocoa. “Are you cold?”

“Only a little. I bet your butt is freezing.”

“No, it’s only a little cold.” She quietly drinks the now-not-so-hot hot drink and I blame myself for not shutting up. Again. “You can sit on my lap if you want. So you don’t have to sit in the cold, I mean.” _That sounded so stupid Dick Grayson_.

“Such a gentleman.” She hesitates, for a moment, and I can see she is unsure. She probably doesn’t want the moment to be awkward, at least more than it is right now. She then nods and sits on my lap, being careful not to touch the bank with her clothes. I smile to myself. “Please, don’t comment about the pajama, I know it’s terrible.”

“I think it’s cute,” I say, quickly. I wrap my arms around her upper body, carefully, so she won’t be bothered by the action. It seems only natural to hold her like this. She puts her hands on mine and I just kind of rest my head on her shoulder. Barbara instantly runs her fingers through my hair. “I was thinking that we have been sleeping with only a wall with the width of my thumb between us all this time. Maybe we were just meant to meet someday.” She laughs.

“You believe in destiny?” she says.

“Not really.”

“Well, you sound like you do,” Barbara smiles at me, then gives me a peck on the forehead. “We should be wrapped in blankets right now watching movies until morning.”

“You think so? I have classes tomorrow.” I say, quietly.

“Me too.” I roll my eyes, a foolish smile on my face. “But you know the song, right? Girls just want to have fun.”

“That’s all they really want.” I give her a side smile. Her eyes slowly turn to her hands, her smile fading slightly.

“The truth is I am very tired. I just want to finish the year as soon as possible. It’s– I’m exhausted, to be honest.” I hug her tighter.

“I know. School is always tiring. But we can make it better? Maybe?”

“How?”

“Havin fun in the mid-time. Look, we are half-way there. Take my hand, and we’ll make it. I swear.”

“Did you just?“ I nod, laughing. She rolls her eyes, and then puts her hands around my cheeks and gives me a kiss. I give her another one, putting her hair behind her ear, caressing her neck. “I think this is going to be alright, Dick Garyson, what do you say?”

“I certainly could get used to this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed as much as I did writing. See you! xx

**Author's Note:**

> The song I mention in the story is Don’t you want me by The Human League, which actually started playing on shuffle when I was writing that part.  
> Thanks for reading! xx


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